Alyson Bahr - artist
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"Alyson's courage, trust, power, wisdom, willingness, and creativity left me gobsmacked and grateful...It's a show worth seeing for anyone who has demons to face, stare-down, and move above..."
​-Lisa Richey

"Alyson found her voice through this body of work.  It is very powerful.  It tugs at the heart in the way of Anne Frank's Diary... "
-Carol DeFilippo
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Lyrics by Lady Gaga
The above pieces reflect my feeling of being "silenced."  I had my class photos from ages 7-9 scanned on 16x20 canvas (they are in reverse order above), then I stitched the mouth shut with carpet thread to reflect my inability to speak about what happened to me.
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I found when working on these poems that I moved between first and third person. It seemed when the "story" was too much for me to bear I would switch as the above poem shows, "it happened to the other girl."
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I don't believe you ever get over sexual assault.  It colors your thinking and how you feel about life, people, your emotions....you run it all through a different "filter"than most people do.  Your life is irrecoverably changed.
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The above piece was born after I experienced molestation at the Wilmington Airport via TSA, May 2017.  I found through numerous complaint channels that there is nothing in place to prevent the TSA from assaulting people.  I was very disturbed by this.
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The above image was born in college in the year 1989. The image reflected exactly how I felt last year (2017).  The poem embedded in it is from spring of 2017.  It reads as follows: "I'm tending to all things - right here - fearless - travelling with rainbows - I don't believe any of that bullshit - anymore - a polished image of myself - mended.....if only it was that easy."
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The above piece depicts how easily I could have committed suicide.  I've felt this need to want to disappear for most of my life and it was only in the last 8 years that I was able to put it all together and realize that, yes, I have a wonderful life, but, I am one of the lucky ones. I still have many days when the pressure of wanting to disappear becomes nearly too much to bear. 
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I feel most strongly about the above piece.  I am so many fractions of myself because of what happened to me.  I have a second, third, fourth skin grown to cope with the early molestation upon my body.  I've developed a way to survive.  I've become a super hero of sorts.  The only silence left is not wanting to admit that what happened...happened to me.  I want it to be "the other girl." The girl I've created in my head.  But, it's only in middle age that I am learning they are one in the same.  A lifetime of trying to shut it all down, until the moment when the volcano erupts. 
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When I wrote this poem I had no idea what "Chapter 3" meant.  I now know that I am in chapter 3 of my life.  I had the early jobs, my main career, and now I am both finding myself as an artist and finding myself as a person.  The remaining question is, of course, where do I fit in?
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The above poem depicts my frustration with finding 3 other women who were molested by this doctor.  I posted a review on Heathgrades.com and Vitals.com in  February, 2015 that outlined what had happened to me and was astonished to find other women began to respond. Sadly both are anonymous websites and I was unable to contact the other women.  I was, however, able to construct a timeline of 25+ years that this man was molesting children. Validation is a pacifier of sorts.
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This poem depicts what I feel is "the joke" of all the T.V. series that intend to show that perpetrators are caught and brought to justice.  This is a slim, slim, fraction of a  percentage of the crimes that have actually been committed.
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This piece was born after I dropped the case (in March of 2017) I had against the molester/pediatrician.  It became apparent to me that I would have been drawn and quartered if the case actually went to trial.  I have regrets now.  I hope one of the other children/adults comes forward now that there is more public support.  I dropped the case within months of the Olympic doctor's trial and the #MeToo movement.  At the time I felt very alone.  Now I would feel very differently.

The update is, it took another 5 years for enough women to come together to hopefully take him down. Sadly in the USA it takes an army of women to take one molester down (please copy and paste the following link into your browser to read the article.)
https://www.journalinquirer.com/crime_and_courts/suit-accuses-former-vernon-doctor-in-sex-assaults/article_e08d0858-da9f-11ec-8112-0b33b7fca9b9.html
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